Pushing the Envelope

Even though I'd covered the stationery industry for three years when I got engaged in March 2000, I began to see it much differently once I began my personal search for bridal papers. Despite having a good idea of what I wanted, actually obtaining it would be complicated by time restrictions, multiple responsibilities, and all of the overwhelming emotions that come with getting married. While I was thrilled with the papers I opted for, and used vendors I'd gotten to know while working at Gifts & Dec, a cool-headed authority to help me through the search would have been priceless.

The best thing a stationer (or any retailer who sells to brides) can do for herself and her customers is get a sense of the bride's taste and who she is as a person, and offer her several alternatives for achieving what she wants. Granted, that's not an easy task, but here are some ways to go about keeping brides happy … and offering the best service in town.

Watch that attitude. I selected retailers based not on specific products (which I could have found in many different places), but on their approach. Did the salesperson seem relaxed or restriction-oriented? Most importantly, was she trying to intimidate or accommodate me? Many retailers seem to have decided that the best way to exude prestige is to treat customers as if they were lucky to shop there. It's shortsighted to handle any customer this way; but doing it to brides, who have money to spend and want to feel pampered, is insulting. If you do this, you might get the sale, but not a return customer.

Don't prejudge, and be flexible. You see brides come and go, but you should still regard each as an individual. Don't make assumptions based on appearance and age. Listen to what each one has to say. Most retailers and service providers don't hide the fact that they offer the same cookie-cutter service to every bride. For a bride, finding that one source who is open is crucial. Satisfied brides will recommend you to their friends and keep returning themselves.

Don't sell anything using the phrase, "This is popular with brides." Brides don't want to hear what everyone else is doing; in fact, most try to gravitate away from the mainstream, since they want a unique wedding. It's understandable that you might regard a bride as one type of sale, but when you let that thinking show, you start to lose that sale. As an alternative, describe how one bride incorporated the merchandise into her event.

Variety is the spice of life. Have samples of what other brides have done on hand, because often what your vendors offer isn't enough. When my fiancé, Michael, and I started shopping for wedding invitations, we visited a premier New York invitation resource. When I requested letterpress samples, we were unceremoniously handed several books and subsequently ignored. Eventually we realized that we felt no connection to any of the quite pricey invitations. Had that retailer shown us some samples that went outside the box, or brainstormed with us, or just given us some attention, we might have given the store our business.

Get a sense of her taste quickly, and try to offer a whole program. It's not always important that every piece of stationery perfectly coordinates, but you should still suggest, suggest, suggest, since you have a better perspective on what's out there than the bride does. Remember that she is overwhelmed and, while there's a lot that she might like to do, she probably doesn't have the time or energy to do it all. If you confidently propose a certain element, making her feel that the worry will be off of her shoulders, chances are she'll go for it.

Avoid the hard sell. The underlying pitch in bridal magazines and nearly every service in the industry is that the wedding — or, unbelievably, even the relationship — will be lacking if a particular widget is not purchased. I don't care what's being sold; savvy brides will run from that approach … fast!

Make sure that someone knows all the account details when you lose an employee. Nothing is more frustrating for a bride than to have her query answered with: "Uh … I don't know. She doesn't work here anymore." That experience completely soured me on a store at which I received otherwise impeccable service. After a problem with my veil necessitated its being sent back to the manufacturer, I called weeks later to check on it. I was told that the woman who had helped me had left, and I was put on hold before being informed that they didn't know where my veil was. My heart dropped! Even though my veil was eventually found, that kind of mistake simply shouldn't happen.

Hook up with other vendors who can enhance the process. Get creative not only with invitations, but with other services. For our engagement party, my mother-in-law surprised me with a cake with our engagement announcement on it. This was an touching gesture, and the kind of element that brides want to hear about.

Now that the hoopla has died down, I can laugh at all the stress that went into the wedding planning, and relish the memories of the day itself, which went perfectly. So next time you encounter a bride-to-be, remember that she's relatively sane and opinionated beneath that frazzled exterior, and just waiting for a service miracle that will have her wanting to name her firstborn after you.