Maintaining a Balance

In the tense times we find ourselves in, Americans are looking more and more to their families for succor and support. But with the hours that gift store owners must put in to run their businesses, where can they find enough time to devote to family? Financial management may be vitally important, but so is time management. To that end, here are eight suggestions that may help you achieve success in your business and happiness in your family life at the same time.

One of the things that contributes to a poor family/work balance is the inability to let go of work at the end of the day. Of course, you can't leave your business at the office when true emergencies arise, but as a general rule you should avoid rehashing the day's events every night with your spouse and children. When you get home, try to do more listening than talking. Show a genuine interest in what is happening in the lives of your spouse and children.

Minimize the time you spend working at home. If you get home at 8 p.m. every day after your family has had dinner, and go straight to your home office to continue the workday, you won't be able to devote the necessary time to making your family feel important.

Andrew Willis and Steve Nettles are co-founders of Families in Touch, an Amarillo, Texas, business with the mission of strengthening families. Willis says that real family commitment must be approached with the same vigor that one exhibits when trying to make a business successful.

"Express love and affection to family members daily," advised Willis. "This needs to be 'real' and not 'forced.' He cautions that sometimes workaholics may find that they don't feel these feelings at first; the answer is not to ignore the problem or separate from the family, but to focus on cultivating those emotions.

When you are gone from home a great deal, it's important to establish non-negotiable commitments. Try coaching a sports team that your child plays on. Or join a bridge club or dinner group with your spouse.

"Setting non-negotiable family events is vital," said Willis. "The end result is worth it, both for the business and our family."

These are some other non-negotiable commitments you can make:

• Attend religious services with your family every week.
• Attend your kids' sporting events if you don't have time to coach.
• Drive the school carpool a couple of days a week.
• Attend your spouse's office parties or social events.
• Volunteer with your spouse to work for a community or church group.

Also, while it might not be feasible for you to get home every night in time for dinner, try setting aside two nights a week on which you will have someone cover for you at the store. You'll find that sharing dinner with your family is an excellent way to find out what's happening in the lives of your children and your spouse. You might also want to institute a family game night or individual dates with each of your children.

Willis points to the need for regular date nights with your spouse. "Keeping romance alive in your life will send you to work in the morning singing," he said. Try a long weekend getaway or a weekly meal out.

You probably have a calendar at work that helps you organize your day, and it probably tends to be work-focused. If that's the case, start adding family dates to your work calendar immediately. This will help you maintain your non-negotiable commitments.

"We should schedule important family events with the same urgency that we schedule important appointments at work," Willis commented.

Avoid the temptation to over-promise and under-deliver. For instance, if you know you that getting home by 7 p.m. is a long shot, call and let your family know ahead of time. If you think there's a chance that you won't make your son's ball game or your daughter's ballet recital, go ahead and tell the child that you probably will miss this one. Then be all the more determined to make the next one.

If you're spending two hours every Saturday morning mowing your lawn before dashing off to your shop, hire someone to do the yard work so that you can spend that time with your family. This will cost you money, but you'll be investing valuable time in the development of your family relationships.

If you and your spouse both work at your store, and a dirty house is a bone of contention, hire a maid service to come in once or twice a month. You'll both be happier living in a cleaner home, and you'll have more free time to spend with your children.

The only way to truly achieve a balance between work and family is to train others so that you can delegate key tasks to them. Lack of delegation is one of the greatest weaknesses of small business owners. In some cases, lack of delegation is due to the absence of a competent employee to delegate to. However, in most cases it is the result of the owner's inability to relinquish control.

Willis prefers a different terminology. "A better word to use is 'empowerment,'" he said. "When we delegate, we give something that we are ultimately responsible for to someone else to do. When we empower, we not only give them the task, but we teach them and train them to share the power or ownership of the results."

Willis advises taking an annual family vacation, even if it isn't for a full week. "Vacation time is an important time to build family relationships and create memories that family members will cherish," he said.

Industry trade shows can be excellent lead-ins to family vacations. "It is possible to tie vacations into annual conventions as long as they are out of town and you are willing to add on time at the end," Willis noted.

If at all possible, get into the habit of taking a one-week vacation completely away from your business at least once a year. If you are working too hard to be able do that, you should take a hard look at your priorities. And if you don't think you can afford the cost of a vacation, there are some good weeklong budget trips that can be taken for under $1,000. You'll find no better place to invest your money than in uninterrupted time with your family.

Finding the right balance between work and family is a tremendous challenge in a business as demanding as gift and decorative accessory retailing. But if you want to be happy in the long term, you must carve out quality family time on a regular basis.