“Stand Up” for Sales

Bright lights shone in my eyes, the crowd looked at me with expectation and the beer I'd promised myself as a reward when I completed the performance seemed a long way off. I was on stage at the New York Comedy Club, the capstone of a 10-week stand-up comedy writing class, and my teacher, Dave LaBarca, paced nervously somewhere in the shadows.

I felt alone. I felt scared. I felt…well… I felt like a rep trying to sell product to a Wal-Mart buyer!

I'd taken the standup course in order to expand my writing skills. What I didn't realize when I signed up was that I'd actually have to perform in front of an audience that had paid to get into a club.

“Dave,” I asked my teacher, “Do they actually have to laugh? Can't they just smile or nod knowingly?”

“Rich,” he said, “Customers at comedy clubs don't pay good money to consume watered-down drinks. They expect to laugh.”

At that, I thought about the company presidents who'd expected me to walk away from every pitch with a sale when I was a salesman. Anything less wasn't good enough.

DÉJÀ VUS?

Well, I survived the stand-up gig. And I actually got people to laugh at my material (some of it, anyway), as well as meeting some “interesting” people. Afterwards, I sat drinking my victory beer and was struck by how much being a standup comic is like being a salesperson.

If you think about it, a salesperson is really an entertainer performing in front of a very small audience. You're typically by yourself, putting on a show for someone who's not necessarily disposed to like you or what you have to say, all in hopes of getting that big payoff. For a comic, the payoff is getting a laugh. For a salesperson, it's making a sale.

Dave LaBarca, is the real deal; he's performed at dozens of clubs, appeared on Comedy Central's Stand Up Stand Up, and even written sitcoms. When Dave gives a lecture, he repeats his points to make himself clear, and looks at you until you write down what he has to say. Dave is very serious about being funny.

Dave has three rules for why a joke bombs:

• The joke is not funny.
• The joke is funny but presented poorly.
• The joke is funny, presented properly, but is the wrong joke for that audience.

Let's see what happens when we substitute the product for joke, good for funny and buyer for audience.

Three reasons a sale bombs:

• The product is not good
• The product is good but presented poorly
• The product is good, presented properly, but is the wrong product for that buyer

A joke may or may not be funny; you don't know until you've told it many times. In other words, don't make assumptions about what's good, let the audience tell you.

In class, I did a routine that I'd thought was funny; the class didn't. I decided to leave it out of my act, but Dave said, “You won't know if it is good or not unless you present it many times and seen how different audiences react.”

So I left it in. What happened? I delivered the first line and the audience roared. They loved the routine: it got the biggest laugh of the night.

Likewise, many times, salespeople have a product they don't believe in, and don't present with conviction, or at all. Or we may present a product to one buyer, get a strong rejection, and never take it out again.

Maybe salespeople need to listen to Dave, and present that product 20 or 30 times before making up our minds. It could turn out to be the best thing we have.

Dave always points out that to a comic, timing is everything. If you move on to the next joke too quickly, the audience may not have had time to react to the first one. It may not be that the joke wasn't funny; it may be that you didn't give the audience enough time to laugh.

Salespeople also need to pay attention to timing. If you move on to the next product or idea too quickly, you may not give the buyer time to take in what you've said. It might not that the product wasn't good; you just said too much, too quickly.

“Know your audience,” is another mantra that Dave LaBarca repeats. For example, don't tell an off-color joke to a church group, and don't tell fat jokes unless the audience is skinnier than you.

For salespeople: “Know your buyer.” For example, assure in advance that the buyers you're seeing have buying responsibility for what you're selling. Visit their stores so you know whether your product's price point makes sense for the customers, and (timing again) check their buying schedule so you are sure that it is not too early or too late for the season you are trying to work.

Indeed, stand-up comedy is a lot like selling. By turns, they can both be scary, depressing and triumphant. They can also be a lot of fun. Let's remember to have fun.