“What we've got here…”
By Maria Weiskott, Editor-in-chief -- Gifts & Decorative Accessories, 8/1/2006
I had a real Cool Hand Luke experience recently. You know the one I mean, that classic pronouncement from Strother Martin's character (Captain) to some 50 members of a prison chain gang in the pre-Civil Rights movement South:
“What we've got here…is failure to communicate.”
The communication breakdown I experienced was between me and a doctor at a hospital where I recently had the misfortune to spend several days. I'd come to the hospital by way of the emergency room, with a debilitating pain of unknown origin. Following a slew of tests, I was admitted and consultations were scheduled with a variety of specialists and niche doctors.
While there, I developed a second (and more serious) problem requiring an even more special specialist. So by day two of my “incarceration,” I was seeing between one and five physicians a day: my regular doc, two niche docs, a specialist and the special specialist. Eventually, the group narrowed to just two: my doc and the special specialist.
Two doctors: this I could cope with — or so I thought.
One morning, the special specialist (we'll call him the “specialist-est”) came in for his daily visit. “How are you today?” he asked.
“Not so good,” I replied. After all, I still had that debilitating pain, and was getting discouraged that we hadn't found its source.
“Are you feeling dizzy?” he queried. “Well, no,” I answered, “But…”
“Are you experiencing shortness of breath?” he interrupted. “Or hearing buzzing sounds in your head? Or a whistling noise in your ears?” “No, but…”
“Well, then,” he smiled, “I guess we're making progress.”
“But, doctor,” I sighed, “I'm still in terrible pain here.”
He stared at me blankly. “You have none of the symptoms I'm concerned about. That's a good thing. I'm glad you're feeling better,” he said cheerily as he nodded and walked out the door.
Huh? What just happened? Only a specialist-est could get away with that conversation and stay in business. Imagine running a retail business with that kind of “failure to communicate.”
Salesperson: Hi, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I'm looking for a 6-inch candle.
Salesperson: The 8-inch candles are over there, the 4-inch ones are next to them.
Customer: But I need a 6-inch candle.
Salesperson: The candleholders are on the top shelf.
Customer: But I want…
Salesperson: (with a nod) And the wick trimmers are near the cash register.
Customer Uhh…thank you. (out the door)
Such a conversation would never happen in our business. Maybe doctors need a “specialty” rotation in the hospital gift shop before making their rounds. Then they could be specialty specialist-ests.
