Maria Weiskott

Nothing's Going to Stop Me...Not Even Black Friday
November 21, 2007

“If the people don’t want to come out, nothing is going to stop them.”

Yogi Berra could have been talking about me with this one. Of course, he was referring to a ball park at the time he allegedly grumbled this logic-defying statement.

But I’m thinking it refers to me – as in, going Christmas shopping tomorrow morning at some ridiculous hour while my 22-lb. turkey roasts itself in a slow oven, releasing those delicious aromas that waft through my home. 

Not!

No, nothing is going to stop me from not getting an early start on my holiday shopping tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day. (Humor me; the sentence does so make sense.)

And nothing is going to stop me from not rising from a deep tryptophan – (the stuff in turkey that makes you sleepy) – induced slumber before dawn on Friday either. No, nothing is going to stop me from not being among the hoard of humanity waiting for the doors of some big box to swing open, so I can rush in and wrestle a piece of merchandise – suspiciously in short supply, although advertised below wholesale price – from the grip of another human being. No, nothing is going to stop me from not doing that either.

Just like nothing stopped me from not starting my holiday shopping the day after Halloween; or on Labor Day, for that matter.

What is that all about any way? Am I supposed to do more shopping because there are now more shopping days in the holiday season? Do mass marketers think I will find more people to shop for or something? Or that I have more money to spend, just because there are more shopping days?

Do I look like I am more stupid this year than I was last year when they tried the same ploy? I think not.

I wouldn’t trade for anything, a holiday shopping trip that starts with watching the unique ice crystals disappear from my car windows as the defroster kicks into high gear; not even for the “lowest, low price ever.” I wouldn’t trade watching orange, yellow and purple leaves dance around the tires of my car as I pull out of my driveway to start my holiday shopping; not even for coat-free, hatless Christmas shopping.

But most of all, I wouldn’t trade one nano-second of a leisurely, family-centered Thanksgiving holiday – complete with parade-watching, football watching, snoring men on sofa, joke-telling, tale-swapping and dish-washing – for anything; least of all, a trip to the mall.

And no one is going to stop me, either.

Posted by Maria Weiskott on November 21, 2007 | Comments (0)